Older mums - burn them at the stake?
Posted: Monday 18 May 2009
She's not the oldest mum ever (that goes to a woman in India giving birth at 70), but she is 66.
Its Elizabeth Adeney of course (pictured) - who's name has shot to the headlines after the press discovered that she is 66 and 8 month's pregnant with her first child.
There's been a lot of talk lately about the best age for motherhood. Radio 4 had a great programme on the other day called 'Life as an old new mum'.
It's the first time that I grasped a little bit of what it must be like to have a baby so late in life. I always thought that at 37 (for my 1st) I was no spring chicken, but this lady beats me by miles.
Directly from from the horses mouth
Before you cast judgement on Elizabeth or Sue, have a listen to the programme. Sue is a lovely woman. Her partner is 11 years younger than her. She seems very well-prepared. Surely that's got to be a very important factor? I don't know anything about Elizabeth, and whether she is single or not, but support networks have got to be a vital factor.
What I do know is that I am extremely lucky to have conceived easily and naturally at a time in my life when pregnancy and birth were physically possible. I can hardly imagine the pain and anguish of longing for a child and not having one.
Men do it and no-one cares...
What I do know is that there are PLENTY of men out there who father children well into their sixties and no-one bats an eyelid. I don't recall the Daily Mail, or anyone for that matter, as much as raising their eye-brows when these dad's had children: - Anthony Quinn at 81 (!!), Rupert Murdoch - 72, John Simpson - 61, Warren Beatty - 62, Mick Jagger - 57. Look how manly they still are to sire children! Sue and Elizabeth are lucky not to get burned at the stake.
The important stuff
Will your child be loved? Have you planned for when you're not around any more? Do you have a stable and loving support network? Is your partner geared up for all of these issues?
These are questions we should be asking ourselves when we become parents at any age, and these are certainly questions that Sue Tollefsen has addressed.
Burn them or let them go?
Listen - its not for everyone. Yes, there are more older mums nowadays, but nearly all women stop trying some time in their late 40s. I don't think we need to panic about play-groups being flooded with pension-drawing first-time mums.
Its so rare that when it does happen (to a woman) the media goes a bit mad. I think its time to sit back and think before we judge so harshly the difficult decisions that people make in life.
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